What's in a Word Part 1 - What to Say

Have you ever been in one those situations where you later realized that you could have had a much better result if you had used different words? I know I have. I would bet that most of us have been in a situation like that. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are trying to achieve that we just bulldoze our way to it without thinking about how to most effectively get there.

This 4-part series of blog posts will shed a little light on how using the right words may help lead you to clearer communication and greater success not just in business, but in everyday life!

What are words? You might define them as “sounds and syllables grouped individually or together to convey specific information.” That is my definition, and if I take it at face value, I can see that there are many, many ways to convey information based on the words I use.

Back to bull dozing our way to an objective: let’s say you need some documentation from someone, perhaps a signed contract or a copy of an invoice. Let’s also say you need said documentation yesterday, so it is urgent that you receive it as soon as possible. In this digital age, you might type up an email as your first method of obtaining the information. Email is terrific because it allows you the time to think about what you want to say, say it, and then erase it and replace it if you need to. Phone calls don’t let you do this…more about that in a minute. You’re now frantically typing that email to the person from which you need to obtain the documentation and you are at a crossroads. What should you say? How should you phrase it? What words should you use in order to get the quickest response?

These are all valid questions, and ones I run into on a daily basis. Let me give you two examples of what you could say, and which one will yield the best result.

Example 1: Hello! I need this document today. Thanks.

Example 2: Hello! I am so sorry to come to you so urgently but if you could please provide this document at your earliest convenience today, I would so greatly appreciate it! Thanks so much for your assistance!

There you go. I asked the same exact question in two completely different ways. Which one do you think would get the better response? Why?

Let me break it down: Example 1 is all about me and my needs with absolutely no regard as to how my needs are a burden to the other person. It is direct, demanding, and comes across in a negative way.

Example 2 is different in so many ways. First of all, and most importantly, it is filled with humility and gratitude. Secondly, it is not in any way demanding but still conveys the urgent need for the requested information. It starts off with acknowledgement of the burden on the receiving party and then also thanks them for their help.

So, what IS in a word (or a sentence)? EVERYTHING! If I got an email like example 1, I would be angry at this person. Angry for their lack of preparation and then expectation that everyone else drop they are doing to help them avert a crisis. On the flip side, if I got an email like example 2, I would happily stop what I am doing and retrieve the document for the person because I can tell that they are truly grateful for the assist and they are apologetic in their approach.

But what if you needed to make a phone call instead of sending an email (I know, I know, this is an archaic method of communication that should never be heard of again HAHA!!)? You would say the exact same thing! If it is someone you know well, start off your call with some chit chat or shoot the breeze for a minute. Then move on to the purpose of your call: “Hey, it’s so great to chat but I’m actually calling for some assistance. When you have a brief moment today, could you please send me this document. I just realized I need it and am so sorry to ask you for it at the last minute, but I really appreciate your help!”

I have literally said those exact words to clients and colleagues many times and guess what, I get what I want in a matter of minutes!

If I called them up and said “send me this document right now” do you think I would get anything? NOPE!

As I mentioned earlier, when making a phone call, you don’t have the ability to erase and replace what you have said with something more effective so when you are actually speaking to someone, or about to speak to someone, know what you are going to say! Practice saying the words out loud so that you know how they sound and how they feel. Imagine if someone was asking you what you are asking of the other person and how you would respond. It’s cliché but treat others as you wish to be treated really does apply here. Speak to others as you wish to be spoken to and you will see great success with your communication!

Stay tuned for part 2!